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Jul. 8th, 2010


Change is good!

Today, I had a foot of hair cut off

That is all.

Jul. 1st, 2010



GVS and I returned from our week-long trip home last night.

The flight down wasn't much fun. GVS slept through most of the first flight, then screamed her way through landing and the entire connecting flight. By the time my dad picked us up, she was so tired and hot that she screamed for the entire drive home, and only some serious nursing in a dark room could soothe her.

But being at my dad's was wonderful. I spent much of the week visiting family friends and showing off my daughter. The visit to my childhood nanny was especially poignant. When my dad called to arrange a visit (she's 76 and not physically well), he didn't mention that I'd had a baby! So Ruth was very surprised, and so thrilled.

And then there were my siblings. I knew that my stepbrother Seth was excited to meet GVS. But I wasn't sure how excited my other two sibs were. To be honest, I sort of expected polite interest, but little beyond that. Actually, Molly and Jeff were great! Molly couldn't keep her hands off GVS. I think she definitely managed to get her baby fix during our visit. Even Jeff was really good with her when he was there.

We had a great time. Lots of World Cup on tv, pedicures for the girls (we left a sleeping GVS at home with Dad), fantastic meals both at home and out, and not nearly enough photos. I did manage to get everyone holding GVS, at least.

The trip home was very stressful. GVS fussed on the first flight, and then our connecting flight was delayed by over 2 hours. Ugh. I did manage to change and feed GVS a few times, and she was great on the flight once we actually took off, but I was so exhausted by the time we got home. And then, the house... Let's just say that Hubby has never been domestically inclined, but this was yuck. Cat puke everywhere, litter all over the floor, general clutter and mess... I was tired enough that it really upset me.

But I'll get things cleaned up, and it'll be fine.

And GVS had her 2-month checkup this morning. She's now weighing 11 pounds, 5 ounces (wow!), and is in great health. She screamed through her vaccines, and continues to be a bit fussy. I'm hoping that she'll still manage to continue her sleeping schedule (straight through the night for 13 days!), but it may be that I'm due for a stretch of sleepless hours tonight.

What else for GVS... She's smiling! Big wonderful smiles and warm my heart and make everything worthwhile. And the washable diapers are working out well. I don't think I'll bother with them next tine we travel, though. They take up a lot of space in the suitcase, and washing them at someone else's can be a pain.

I think that's it for now. Next trip is in two weeks, to Boston for a bridal shower. I'm glad that I learned so much on this trip, so next one might be easier.

Jun. 17th, 2010



GVS has started smiling over the past week or so! They're these huge, sloppy smiles, and her arms and legs wiggle in a wonderful whole-body expression of happy. I love them so much! There are times when she comes off the breast and looks up at me, or I'm changing her diaper, and she looks right at me and smiles.
The entire world stops for me then, and I am totally absorbed in my daughter.
She smiled at her daddy a few days ago. And in that moment, watching their faces, I knew that I was no longer the absolute and automatic first person in his life. Not that I mind, of course! It's a little hard to explain.

On that note, there are all of these little memories that I'm storing away of Hubby and GVS. The other night, after taking GVS for a walk, I handed her to her dad and jumped in the shower. When I got out, he was sitting on the bed, reading Winnie the Pooh to her. It was wonderful to watch.

In other news, I've finally got her in her washable diapers. Turns out that the problem I was having with them is that they needed to be properly prepped - washed several times so that the soaker pads would wick correctly. Dealing with poop is a little gross, but the GroBaby diapers are very easy. Yay!

The Busy Summer of Travel begins next week, with a trip down to Charleston to see my dad. I'm a little nervous about the flight, and about being the Woman With the Screaming Baby. But I'm getting GVS used to the sling, and hopefully I'll be able to get her to nurse during take-off and landing. Keep your fingers crossed.

Jun. 2nd, 2010


(no subject)

GVS is growing so quickly! She lifts and holds her head, is making excellent crawling motions, and she's grabbing onto her daddy's beard. And 5 nights out of 7, she sleeps through the night - although getting her to sleep in the first place is usually a pain.

Late night was rough. Some nights, I can deal with it. GVS basically attaches herself to my boob and whines if I do anything other than rock and sing. But there are some nights when I'm just too tired, or the "okay, she's down, I can go to sleep, no wait, she's awake and crying again..." wears on me. And I'll be in tears, or just this close to yelling at the baby to just shut the fuck up and let me sleep! I try really hard to handle the nights, since Hubby has to work. But last night, for instance, he got up and took GVS for a drive after midnight, so that I could get my first real shut-eye in almost 48 hours.

But overall, we're working well as a team to keep GVS healthy and happy.

Balticon was this past weekend. It was so much fun to introduce GVS around to the community. And, of course, they all agreed that she is absolutely adorable! I did not actually attend many con events; about 10 minutes in, GVS would start yowling. But I did manage to hit the Geek Prom and a reading by Tee Morris and Pip Ballentine from their steampunk mystery-adventure Books and Braun, Phoenix Rising. And there was exciting news; Tee and Pip have signed a double book deal for B&B with Eos! I'm so thrilled for them both.

But that's about it on my end. The summer is quickly becoming packed, so I'll have more to write about.

May. 9th, 2010



Happy Mother's Day, to all mommies!

GVS is doing quite well. She's had a cold for the past week, which has affected eating and sleeping, but she's getting better. Other than that, she's a very busy baby! She's very good at the things that a two-week old does: nursing, sleeping, and pooping, mostly.

I'm still figuring out out to manage house stuff and baby stuff. But my various baby books assure me that if the baby's still alive and the house is standing, I'm doing pretty well!

As for me, I'm doing fairly well. I've lost most of the water weight, and can actually fit into some old clothing. I've had a couple of nasty cases of the Baby Blues. One minute, I'm fine, and then the next, I'm bawling my eyes out. I'm a horrible mother, I can't make my daughter happy, vie given up any chance of ever having a normal happy life, so on and so forth. And after a good cry, I usually get over it. But boy, it's difficult!

I doubt that I'll have very interesting news to post for a while, aside from GVS's progress as she grows. But there's Balticon coming up, and all sorts of events and travel this summer. So maybe I'll even come up with interesting stuff.

Apr. 24th, 2010


Say Hello....

So, as mentioned, I checked into the hospital on Thursday morning.

I came home today. With a baby!

So much happened on Thursday, and I could describe it all, and this post would last forever. So I'll give the short version.

The pitocin drip was started around 10, and contractions started soon after. Manageable, and the mood was relaxed and social. I think Dad had a great time on his busman's holiday; he had several very interesting conversations with various personnel regarding hospital equipment, practices, and procedures, and I think he took home info on some things his hospital doesn't have. Several hours later, I hadn't dilated much, so we decided to break my water. That's when things took off. Contractions came faster and were much stronger, and after a few more hours, still at only 3 cm, I was losing my grip a bit. So we decided on a pain med that took me through two hours and up to 7 cm. In came the lovely epidural! All of my support people were kicked out, and the epidural was placed well and quickly, although I know that Hubby was pretty distressed at my howls when a contraction hit just as the epidural was going in. Owwww! Then I dozed for... well, I really have no idea for how long. And then it was time to push! It took me a little while to get the hang of it, but I will never, ever forget the sight (we had a mirror set up so I could see) of my daughter's head emerging, followed quickly by the rest of her! I'm actually crying a little right now, as I remember it all.

So. 10:03 pm, 7 lb 6 oz, and 19.5 inches long. 9 and 9 on her Apgars!

I did tear and there were stitches required, and we had some trouble delivering the placenta.

I cannot imagine going through that without my amazing support team. Hubby was a rock when I really started needing him. My Dad is, to quote Hubby, "fucking amazing." MY friend, Christine, a doula, was so soothing, and she gave me exactly the help I needed when I needed it.

So, follow all of that with communication from lots of friends and family. Baby and I are figuring out the process of nursing (my nipples are REALLY flat, and so far we've usually used a breast shield to make it easier to latch on.), Hubby has learned how to change a diaper, the pediatrician has declared Baby "perfect," and the hospital staff were terrific. And now we are so glad to be home. It was nice to have food, drink, drugs and help come running at the push of a button, but I'm happy to be in my own clothes, on my own couch.

We'll see how tonight goes.

Huge hugs to all of you who've already sent love and congratz! It's all greatly appreciated. I think I may go try for a nap now, while my beautiful baby girl is snoozing.

Apr. 21st, 2010



As you all may recall, the plan was for me to check into the hospital tonight, where they would start me on Cervocil. This is basically a "starter" drug that would dilate my cervix. And then I would be induced tomorrow!

As I was stuck in horrible, stupid-drivers-made-stupid-because-it's-raining traffic, I received a call from Labor & Delivery. They were swamped, and didn't have a bed for me. They might be able to fit me in tomorrow night, maybe. I started to cry. I couldn't help it.

The nurse was really sympathetic, and understanding, and assured me that they were going to do everything they could to fit me in.

Well, within an hour, I received another call. My cervix is already open, so really, the Cervocil isn't necessary. I'm checking in butt-early tomorrow morning, and they'll induce. We'll be back on schedule, and I'll hopefully be holding my baby by tomorrow night.

Add to that the fact that my father's flying in tonight (yay!) and his plane's almost 2 hours late (boo!), and it has been one hell of an up-and-down day.

Apr. 19th, 2010


Getting Ready...

So. OB check up this morning. Another BPP sonogram.

As things currently stand, I'm 1+ cm dilated (less than 2, but more than I've been for the past month), 50% effaced, and Baby is lower toward the birth canal. She's also face up (NOT the ideal position for birth), but I've got some exercises that will hopefully help to turn her.
Due to the general lack of progress, the lack of contractions, and the observed reduction of amniotic fluid (nothing to be alarmed by, but it was measurable) - oh, right, and the fact that I've been miserably uncomfortable - we've decided to induce.

This is not unexpected.

I will report to the hospital on Wednesday evening, where they'll stick me in one of the delivery rooms and start me on Cervocil (basically a "starter" drug for induction, from I understand). I can then spend the night as I like. Hubby and I may walk, read, watch movies, or just catch the last night of uninterrupted sleep we'll get for months! And then on Thursday morning, my OB will come in and start me on Pitocin.

By Thursday night, barring any complications, I'll be holding my daughter!

I'm so excited. True, it's not the natural delivery I had hoped for, but who cares? The key aspect of my birth plan was that I wasn't going to lock myself into any decisions. I was going to take drugs if I really needed them. I was going to bow to the inevitable if it came down to a C-Section. Basically, I was going to do whatever it takes for a healthy baby. And this, we've decided, is the best plan overall.

I may type up one more post on Wed. night, but everyone, please wish us luck!

Apr. 16th, 2010


Troublesome Baby

I debated posting this, but figured that hey, I've been pretty forthcoming about the rest of the pregnancy, so why not?

We had a little scare on Wednesday. On Tuesday afternoon, I noted absently that the Darling Brat hadn't delivered one of her rib crunching kicks in a while. On Tuesday night, I thought about how nice it was, curling up to sleep without the usual squirming and rolling. On Wednesday afternoon, it occurred to me that I really hadn't felt any movement at all for over 24 hours...

I called the doctor. Their usual instructions in this case are to drink something sweet (preferably juice), then lie down in a quiet room, on my left side, and focus on the baby for an hour, counting every little movement I felt. Five movements and under was the worry point. After that hour, I'd felt maybe five, maybe six, but some were so faint that I couldn't be sure whether they were real or if I'd just made them up. The nurse I'd spoken to got me an emergency visit with one of the other OBs in the practice.

This was actually the first OB I'd seen there, and he reminds me a lot of my father in his general attitude, so I felt very comfortable in his care. He made a quick check over the records from my last few check-ups, noting absently that my 1-cm dilated cervix had been noted as "Unremarkable." (So, what, does 7cm get a "Fantastic?") A quick pelvic exam confirmed that I hadn't changed there. I was then scheduled for a Bio-Physical Profile (the sonogram I mentioned in my last post) and a Non Stress Test (I was strapped into a couple of of monitors to record Baby's heartbeat for 30 minutes). These both revealed that Baby is in great shape. Follow that up with a big stretch and sharp kick as soon as the monitors were removed, and we all stopped worrying. The Brat had just been resting!

I do feel - and the OB absolutely confirmed this - that I was right to call in. Better safe than sorry, and all that. And if it happens again, I'm not to wave it off as another false alarm. But seeing as The Brat spent the rest of the day (and most of yesterday) making up for lost time, I doubt that there's anything to worry about. Now if my cervix and uterus would just cooperate, and start contracting and dilating...

But as it stands, I'll be back in the office on Monday for a repeat of those tests, and I fully expect that we'll schedule an induction. Bleh for the means, but hooray for the ends! I'll have a baby by this time next week!

On another positive note, the nice young man from The Container Store is currently upstairs, installing my new shelving and drawers in the nursery closet, so I'll be able to spend my afternoon organizing clothing and blankets and whatnot. Yay! My newly-organized little heart cheers to think about that.

Apr. 13th, 2010


Delivery Update

Saw my OB yesterday, and there has been no further dilation. There's a bit of medical talk that could be inserted here, but the short story is that it is extremely unlikely that I'll have a baby by the end of this week. I have another check up next Monday, along with another sonogram for a bio-physical profile. They'll check the level of amniotic fluid, and make sure that she's moving well. And after that, unless I'm having regular contractions and am further dilated, we'll schedule an induction. We'll start by breaking my water, and move on to pitocin if that doesn't have the desired effect.

So. Yes, I would much rather do this naturally, from start to finish. But ultimately, it's about having a healthy baby in a manner that physically best for me.

I'll keep this LJ and Twitter updated, and I'll even have the laptop in the hospital.

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